New Challenge

Wow, it's been so long since my last post...

A 1-months plus break in blogging...

It's been so long.

I guessed if my gf around me, i wont have any time to blog either.

My Internship starting tml.

This is the first time i work or go to a new place without any stress or nervous.

I feel calm and confident.

According to source,

I'll just measuring the instrument temperature and sending report.

Without any negative feeling,

I think i can explore the opportunity there.

It would be best if they allow me to do department rotation.

I would like to learn as much as possible and decide on my future.

Whether i like laboratory or office work.

They didnt explain properly on our working days.

It is best if saturday only a half-day work or alternative week working.

If alternative week, i can do some part -time job.

If half-day, i might starts doing my web business.

I still havent decide on the business.

I'm afraid this business becoming more saturated with supply more than demand.

But i need to do something for my future.

I need to do some investment for future.

Haiz, life's unpredictable...

I don't like to trap in rat race forever.

I must use this opportunity to foresee my future.

I must explore it this time.

Tale of a weirdo

I have a friend...
A weird friend i mean,
She told me that she dunno where is Pavillion, Starhill, Tenji or even Jogoya...
My first reaction was, " Omg, where u come from?"

Hard to believe i have so much weirdo frens around me...
She definitely one of them,
She always get bullied by me and yet still come to me in hope of getting more...
God, pls save her from me....

Frankly speaking, she is a good fren of mine.
Every time,without fail, she lending me a helping hand when i in need of her(delivery,photocopy, signature mimicking)

What a good fren she is...
But we all know good ppl usually get bullied...
Why you still so kind?
Learn to protect yourself
and grow stronger so ppl wont able to bully you again...

Just a reply

Today i waited the whole day for your reply...
Is it asking a greeting msg is too much for you?
Is I demanding too much from you?
I'm not asking you to skip your meetings and classes, arguing with your parents...
Neither asked you to do something against your own principals...

And the next moment u sent me a msg...
And what you expect me to tell you?
Is that only girls have the right to be moody?
Today I'm not stable emotionally but why must I have to act like nothing in front of you?
Easily, i can hug and cried in front of you now...
I know you have alot of works to do...
That's why i dont want to burden you further with my feeling...
I dont even dare to tell you...

I'd tried my best to satisfied all your needs...
But I'm a human,
I'll get tired too...

I really need someone to share my feeling now and i know it can be you...
Probably you're right person at the wrong time...

Doomed

Since when i have this feeling?
Probably after coming back from SP trip...
I felt down, moody and despair...
I dunno where these kinda feeling came from but it's sure followed me for quite some time now...

First day after holiday, i was told that i will having 3tests next week...
Therefore, i had rejected a sampling job for this weekend so that i have time to prepare for these 3tests and present for our anniversary...
After changed my mobile and seek medical advice from doctor in SP, my bank book showed less than hundreds...
In addition to that, my supervisor called me few days ago that my payment for last event job had some problems and had to be delayed...
Oh god, I really need money urgently... Can someone pls help me?

At the middle of the midnight, i received your call, and we spent almost 3hours in hospital....
Government hospital really lived up to its name...
They crawled in the emergency lobby... Totally inefficient and ineffective...
They just prescribed her the same medicine she got it from the previous doctor without doing any further inspection...
Then what's the difference from buying medicine in pharmacies???

Today is not my day.
I spent an hour starring at the ACT tutorial answers....
I laughed...
My mind totally blank...
Then i spent another 2hours in FST3113 class...
Starring at Dr.SK face....
Blank again...

It seems like i was not at the same pace as most of my course mates...
Or should i?
I looked dumb...
Even though, i have decided to skip the coming food law class at 2pm..^^
I really need something to motivate and energize me...
I'm down

Why we need to care?

Human beings are an extraordinary species...

Often, they would like ppl to agree and accept their action and opinion...

Sometimes they care too much on others' opinion and neglected their own feelings...

They willing to change their attitude, lifestyle and even themselves, just to meet others expectation...

Things started to come across my head...

Are we living for ourselves or we lived for others?

What's the purpose of examination?

Why must we be following the trend and not creating a trend of our own?

And why do we really need to care about others opinion?

Are they really more important than yourself?

We, human, lived for ourselves and for others as well,

We cant live by ourselves nor within our own restricted boundaries...

We need to learn to accept, screen and integrated others opinion into ourselves.

That's what will make an identity of own...

Please answer it to yourself,

Are you living up to the expectation that bears on your name,

the name that symbolizes your identity...

Bears on your mind that

those expectation that you think people have on you,

it just another thought of yours

just a small pieces of jigsaw of a bigger picture,

Don't be so sure of your thought,

You'll never know the truth unless you go and find them out...

You inspired me

Sometimes i been wondered, thinking and considering...
What i done,did and will do is it really necessary?
After reading your blog, it reminds me again...

Though its been a little late, but i want to respond back to you too...
Though i might not felt the same as you, but sometimes i cant denied that i do enjoy the time we have been spent together...
Though we become friend not long ago, but its our interaction that bonds us to be good friends...

Perhaps i should said that i already considered you as one of my best friend.
Its not time that measures depth of a relationship..
Its the feeling that bond us together...
The way we talked and shared our studies, gossip and problems...
Perhaps that what makes you stand out among other friend of mine...

But i know clearly what feeling that you're giving me.
It differ from her.
I wished to care,protect and share my problems with her.
But with you, i wished you to motivate, challenge and make me laugh.
Perhaps we should said that a friendship do differ from a relationship.
We both know that i love her a lot.
But we also know that i'm always risking myself hurting her.
I really appreciate the way you motivated me to study and revise.
Or can said that, i always hope there will be someone i can chat with when i feel bored.
I don't like the feeling of lonely. Pls dont come find me...

I never avoids you on purpose...
But we know clearly that i have a new responsibility and obligation,
that i must carry on.

Perhaps all the blames should on me alone...
The way i approaching and treating people is a bit extraordinary,
I may look humorous, i may do silly things
But i do treat my friend with heart,
I'm not a two-face people and i dont like to keep things in heart.
I always do things the way i liked...
That's me.

I guessed it should be clearer now though.
And you really inspired me of what she failed to.

I did it again...

I did it again...
Yesterday night, she cried again.
Sigh..
Let me count.
I think this is the 4th times i make her cried ( for this short period of time together, i think she cried about 5 times)

First time she cried because i was flew to Thailand for a trip.
To be frank, i didn't mean to send a touching msg to make her cry purposely.
I'm just expressing my feeling.
When we having a phone conversation at airport, she cried.
She really made me having a heavy heart to go there( though i was away for 6days only)
It was the first time i actually felt that someone really care about me.
If I'm going to leave this world at anytime,
i know that there will be at least 4ppl crying for me ( my family member and her)

The second time i saw her crying was the time i driving her back to KL from Ipoh,
Back then, she was sharing her past experience with me.
She cried when mentioning about her daddy's incident.
I was driving that time on highway and she was crying...
What can i do?
All i can was just using my left hand to mop away her tears...
and then grabbed her hand,"I'm here with you now"
I really meant it.

The third and the fourth time, she was crying over the phone again.
And due to the same problem and same person.
I promised that i will nvr do it again.
Guess what, i actually felt happy that you had such reaction...
Not that i'm a physco or what,
I just felt that you cared me so much...
I really appreciate the moments i was holding your hand
Really hope we can continue our journey , hand to hand forever

All the best for your exam tml...
Study harder tonight!!!